I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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