its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
