I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
