Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
