Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
