if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
