my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
