dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I'm getting married
To pizza
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
