Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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