If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Randomize
