why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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