He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
