If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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