haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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