some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I would ride that face into the sunset
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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