Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
