I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
