ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
