That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
