What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
