We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
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