Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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