Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
