Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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