his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Vodka?
Forever.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
