dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
