Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
