I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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