You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
