and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize