Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
