just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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