every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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