the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
