All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
