i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
