he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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