You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize