I want to make a zoo with you.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
