Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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