When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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