i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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