I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
third nipple confirmed
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
