We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
