Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
