at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
