it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
