this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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