We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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