I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
It's blow job season.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
