I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
