So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
