U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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