She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
