It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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