I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
