so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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