I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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