I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
