yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
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