just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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